| DO’S | DON’T |
| DO listen to what your loved one’s life is like and what kind of experiences he or she has had in the world | DON’T blame your own feelings on your loved one. |
| DO take the time to seek information about the lives of LGBT people from parents of LGBT people, friends of your loved one, literature, and most of all, directly from your loved one. | DON’T rush the process of trying to understand your loved one’s sexuality or gender identity. |
| DO get professional help for anyone in the family, including yourself, who becomes severely depressed over your loved one’s sexuality or gender identity. | DON’T assume that your loved one should see a professional counselor or encourage “reparative therapy”. |
| DO accept that you are responsible for your negative reactions. | DON’T criticize your loved one for being different. |
| DO help your child (or loved one) set individual goals, even though these may differ drastically from your own. | DON’T expect your child (or loved one) to make up for your own failures in life. |
| DO try to develop trust and openness by allowing your loved one to be who she or he is without pressure. | DON’T try to force your loved one to conform to your ideas of proper sexual behavior. |
| DO be proud of your loved one’s capacity for having loving relationships. | DON’T blame yourself because your loved one is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. |
| DO look for the injured feelings underneath the anger and respond to them. | DON’T demand that your child (or loved one) live up to what your idea of what a man or woman should be. |
| DO defend him or her against discrimination. | DON’T discriminate against your loved one. |
| DO respect your loved one’s right to find out how to choose the right person to love and how to make relationships last. | DON’T try to break up loving relationships. |
| DO say, “I love you”. | DON’T insist that your morality is the only right one. |